Thursday, December 17, 2009

Attraction: Beauty In The Eye of The Beholder versus The Matching Hypothesis.?

I was just curious as to what people thought about the powers of attraction. Can we say that attractiveness is subjective and that each and every one of us has a different view of what is attractive in partner, hence the expression 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'. Or do you think that there is some kind of hierarchy, the very attractive with the very attractive, the mediocre with the mediocre and the ugly with the ugly? Are we determined to seek out partners who are at the same level of attractiveness as ourselves? Do we look at for potential partners who match our attractiveness?Attraction: Beauty In The Eye of The Beholder versus The Matching Hypothesis.?
An intelligent man or woman will pick someone compatible with charm, humour, personality, responsibility, financial success and other suitable qualities since we are supposed to desire what is good for us as opposed to what is bad for us, but people with bad childhoods and personal problems like addiction, low self-esteem, depression and a history of abuse or neglect will seek out what is familiar-bad relationships based on co-dependency and mutual hatred.

Also, issues of control and the position of women affect relationships. Sometimes, when young, people fall in love and it doesn't work out so they hold on to an unrealistic expectation of relationships and measure everyone else against it, want it back or keep holding on to some fantasy. Othertimes, two people love each other but don't put in the effort to make it work. Others just leave because 'the grass is greener on the other side', 'fear of intimacy', 'lack of emotional fulfillment' and a 'need to find themselves'.Attraction: Beauty In The Eye of The Beholder versus The Matching Hypothesis.?
Attractiveness comes from the heart.I have seen very aesthetically attractive men who,as soon as they open their arrogant mouths--became quite ugly.
Even though we use the expression, ';Beauty Is In the Eye of the Beholder';, attraction goes way beyond that. We can be attracted to people that are very different from ourselves for many reasons.

A person who is beautiful might be attracted to a person that has a wonderful sense of humor, is kind, generous with affection and compliments, loving and not controlling. This person might not be at all comparable in beauty but contains the attributes that the other needs and wants. In the long run what attracts is a mystery for each person and does not go along with matching or mismatching.
Fit + money + more money = Male

Smart + body + body = Female

I wrote it backwards!

Women don't want broke/fat men, And men don't want fat/stupid women.
Years ago, I knew a short roley-poly darkly Jewish guy who was a really smashing bloke. He was always (annoyingly) cheerful and there was always a joke or a funny quip available from him. He was basically nice and kind and he frequently spoke about his wife and kids, in warm and loving tones. I forget their names now, but clearly from his wife's name, she was Scandinavian.

Quite by chance I bumped into my little Jewish friend as we both rounded a corner at the same time from opposite directions ~ and BAM, clearly his wife was Scandinavian. She had a very blond head which arose head + shoulders above his dark Jewish looks (the children were clearly really happy with their parents too).

Just watching them together, I envied him ~ and in fact, I envied her too, both having someone so special in their lives just shone out from both as individuals and as a couple.

Personally, I doubt that there is 'one rule' for all about what is / not attractive ~ as for example, how would you judge 'attractiveness' for a start.

Today, there are many 'beautiful' young women who are far from being 'attractive.' They look like clones and are on a par with the Paris Hilton look-a-like, Chardonnay (!) who is so fick she could be used as a retaining wall ~(having read an interview - otherwise I know nothing about her ~ and would guess that there is little more to know about her anyway).

We lppk for potential partners who match our attractiveness but from our point of view. if an ugly person thinks that that person is attractive , he/she will attract attractive partners

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